i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
