Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I wear drunk well.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize