i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize