Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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