My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
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I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
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my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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