idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
My feet surprised me
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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