Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
