we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
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