never play flip cup with pint glasses
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
