WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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