My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
