she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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