I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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