grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
