Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
There r osticjed everywhere
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
