everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
