there's paper in my vomit.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
