Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
