Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
