So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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