a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
