Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
love makes seman taste better
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize
