At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
