yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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