Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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