I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
