Having a random hookup so left but love u
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
