i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
