I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
