The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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