? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He better not be in your backpack
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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