just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
