They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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