There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Randomize
