As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
