take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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