Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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