so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
