'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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