Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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