Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
