i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
