the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
