He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
