It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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