You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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