I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
