My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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