kristin has been a bad kristin
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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