Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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