Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
