You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
