i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
