I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
My vagina just clenched in fear
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