Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
