guys are not supposed to queef...right?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
