I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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