he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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