i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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