also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
