I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize